Dating after 35
Most will assume that a 38 year old woman will want kids. The age we are at (35-40) is probably the toughest of all. They’re contacting me because they think “She’s 38 and using online dating so she must be somewhat anxious or desperate and will give me a second glance.” If they’re not thinking that way, then they are men so lacking in self-awareness that you wouldn’t want to date them anyway.In a man’s mind, we’re on the cusp between wanting kids and not wanting kids. I know exactly what you’re talking about in regards to being contacted by people you would never in a million years consider dating. Of course, one or two of them are genuinely nice guys whom you might share a connection, but guilt by association screws them.You’re basically setting yourself up to fail when you focus on what you don’t have or on people that aren’t interested in you.(Remember the other suggestion I made up thread – Learn when to walk away.) The more focus you put on what you are lacking, the more power you give to that idea and the more prevalent it becomes.I got pricing from the hotel for the open bar and food, wrote the guest list (only 50 people from my side, immediate family only and friends from high school/college/life) called the church I sometimes go to and booked a tentative date, (last weekend of April, 2008) and called my uncle and told him to save the date. (Of course, it’s still in the early stages.) Every press mention my business has received has been clipped and hung on my bulletin board. Rock to make your own slide show.) My business has tripled in the past 6 months.I made a slide show of my affirmations, using pictures of everything from the type of body I want to have to piles of money to a clip of someone reading their credit rating to the new apartment I want to have. The money flows in and, like with most businesses, flows right back out.So here, in its entirety, I offer you a very challenging post about women, written by a very intelligent woman.
Walk with your head up, make eye contact, smile…it at the deli, on the subway, at church…where ever. But don’t go to a bar with the specific intent of meeting a man. Ladies – Stop going out in groups of 3 or more single friends. Ignoring issues that are getting in the way of being happy and secure? We grow resentful of those people who do have an easier time meeting someone and that resentment morphs in to bitterness and negativity. A fear that we will never meet anyone, that we will end up alone.He’s also written a book called “Why You’re Still Single.” We talked about how frustrating it is for women (and I’m sure men) to only get contacted by people that they would never in a million years consider dating.Evan tried to tell me that women should just delete those e-mails and not give them a second thought.I agreed with that, but also told him that the reason why hearing from only those people is frustrating is that it makes you wonder what it is about you that is attracting only these people.It also serves as a reminder of what’s out there and…as I’ve said before…you get older it becomes slim pickins.